No Rules For You

Shalom,

This week is one of the more serious weeks. This D'var Torah is very short and simple, and it ain't too funny - not to say that I usually am funny, though I would like to think so. But this week isn't. Whatever.

In this week’s parasha, Parashat Ki Tetzeh, we are given a mitzvah which, at first glance, seems shocking. [My goal is to explain why it isn’t shocking.] “When you will go out to war against your enemies…and you will capture captivity, and you will see among its captivity a beautiful woman, and you will desire her, you may take her to yourself as a wife” (Devarim 21:10). Basically, the Torah teaches us that in the time of war, if you see a woman that you want, you can go ahead and marry her. It doesn’t matter that she isn’t Jewish. It doesn’t matter that she is the enemy. It doesn’t matter that she is married and a mother of ten. Of course, there is a whole process that one must undergo before actually marrying her. It’s a long process, and you can read the very short passage to get a feel of what the process is.

To someone who doesn’t understand, this seems very odd. Why is it that during war time, the laws are put on hold? Why do we forego the laws of morality and allow this man to do the unthinkable? We allow him to marry the enemy, who happens to be married to another man and is the mother of many children! Why is it allowed?

There are a few answers, but one of the famous answers is explained by understanding the way Hashem tests us. In every test that we are faced with, we have a 50% chance of passing and a 50% chance of failing. We have complete freedom of will. If there were a 51% chance of failing, then it wouldn’t be a fair test because we would be starting off behind. Can we really be held accountable for failing that test? In every single challenge that we face, we have the choice to pass or to fail, and we are not predetermined or inclined to either way. We have the choice. We can’t blame it on the circumstances.

When this man is in war, killing people, capturing people, and worrying for his life – sleeping with one eye open – he basically goes crazy. If he sees a woman that he desires, chances are he’s going to fail. It is no longer a 50/50 test – he is inclined to fail, based on the circumstances. He needs a tremendous amount of will-power to pass this temptation, and he is simply not required to display that much will-power. Hashem understands that the bets are against him, and therefore, Hashem lifts the prohibition. It isn’t a fair test, so He simply takes away the test and allows this man to do whatever he wants. [You should know, it isn’t a free-for-all. He doesn’t allow anyone to do whatever he wants, as animals do. There is an entire procedure to go about doing this. I’m not going into it, but please don't mistakenly believe that this man is now permitted to be an animal. I like animals. I have nothing against them. I just don't like it when people become animals.]

From this, we learn that in every test that we face, we have an equal opportunity of passing and failing. It’s 50/50. We can’t make excuses and say that it was too difficult. We have the ability to pass, just as much as we have the ability to fail. It’s completely up to us. We see this in the fact that when it isn’t a fair test (as in this week’s parasha), Hashem lifts the test altogether.

May we all make the correct decisions, even if they are extremely difficult.

Sorry that it's so short this week, you'll have to forgive me.

Shabbat Shalom!

Avraham Adam Sabzevari

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For questions, comments, criticisms, or suggestions, please email adamsabzevari@gmail.com. We are awaiting your feedback. :)
www.adamstorah.blogspot.com

Mirror Image

Shalom to all!

For all of you who don’t know, I try to write up a D’var Torah on the parasha every week and send it out to a bunch of people. From all the people I send it to, a small percentage actually reads it. From the people who actually read it, an even smaller percentage enjoys it. And then there is the smallest percentage that has reported me as spam and has my email address listed under junk mail. Now, this week, I’m not going to write something on the parasha, mainly because I don’t have anything that I think is worthy of sending out – it’s a flaw in me. And being that I don’t want that smallest percentage (spam people) to grow, I will not attempt to make something out of nothing. Instead, I will write something that has to do with the time period that we are about to enter. In fact, it is something that I have written before (as you can find on www.adamstorah.blogspot.com ) , and I will expand upon it. I am writing it again because I love it. And I hope you will, too.

Now, you should know that I already wrote up this entire D’var Torah earlier on, but I accidently hit a button, and the D’var Torah was all deleted – without being saved. I don’t know what I did, and I didn’t even know that was possible So I have to type this up a second time, which is slightly annoying, but whatever – it’s worth it. I’m just hitting “Ctrl + S” after every sentence I type.

Next week, we will be entering the month of Elul 5770. We all know that Elul is a month for self-introspection, for taking on new-year resolutions, and for waking up early to sing about sinning in very cheerful tunes. [If you are not Sefaradi, or if you are Sefaradi but don’t partake in selichot, then you should know that Sefaradim recite selichot during the month of Elul. Selichot consists of admitting to committing many, many sins – in very fun tunes. Really, it’s way too much fun for what we are saying. But it’s fun, nonetheless.] So Elul is a time to think about bettering ourselves, and really to try to make improvements. Imagine you are the CEO of a huge company. You will constantly be thinking about improving your sompany. You are supposed to have a vision of where you want to go and figure out how you will get there. Similarly, you are supposed to be the CEO of the corporation called “me.” And this month is the time for you to really focus on improving “me.” If you don’t do it, who will? Is there someone else who will improve you for you? (If you answered yes, please let’s talk – I can use some help.)

The problem is, it’s very tough to get into the whole Elul feeling. I mean, do you actually think about bettering your ways during Elul? Are you really thinking about what needs improvement in your life and devising the necessary plans to bring those improvements into fruition? Or do they remain a figment of your imagination, if even that much? [Since it is impossible for you to respond to these questions, I will assume that you’re answer is no. If you answered yes to these questions, then you can probably stop reading here…] Why is it so difficult to improve yourself?

I’m not really sure, but I think a lot of it has to do with being partial. How can you really be critical of yourself? There are many things that you are doing wrong that you probably don’t even know is wrong. So how will you ever improve? And there are many things that you know are wrong, but you will justify them and tell yourself that it’s not really such a big deal – because after all, you are partial. You don’t want to be critical of yourself. You don’t want to tell yourself that you are wrong.

The month Elul spelled in Hebrew is אלול. If you spell אלול backwards, you get לולא.  לולאmeans “if only.” There are many times that we know that we did something wrong, or continue to do something wrong. And we want to change, but we can think of an excuse. “If only my situation were different.” “If only I had more money.” “If only there were more people helping me out and there weren’t so much pressure on me.” “If only ______________ (fill in your own blank).” “I could have done this.” “I should have done that.” Elul is the month to take all of those “could’ves,” “should’ves,” “would’ves,” and “if onlys,” and to turn them around. Take the לולא and turn it around into theאלול. No more excuses. Tell yourself that you will no longer tolerate mediocrity. Tell yourself that it’s time to change directions (unless you are already in the right direction – if that’s the case, please do NOT change directions) and start the uphill battle. Think of a few things that you regret, and promise to yourself that you will not allow yourself to regret them ever again, because you will never go down those paths again. No excuses. No more לולא’s. You owe it to yourself, no? Don’t you deserve to improve? And if you don’t do it, it’s never gonna happen. Is that fair? Why shouldn’t you improve? You owe it to yourself.

Let us all try, in this month of Elul, to break loose from the shackles that have been holding us down. And honestly, I know it’s hard because no one wants to be critical of 

himself – but if you don’t, you’re never going to get any better. Is that fair? Is that fair to you? So let’s do it! Take the inspirations and convert it to actual results.

Thank you very much for letting me into your mailbox!

Shabbat Shalom!

Yours truly,

Avraham Adam Sabzevari

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For questions, comments, criticisms, or suggestions, please email adamsabzevari@gmail.com. We are awaiting your feedback. :)
www.adamstorah.blogspot.com