The Old Lady and Her Cane

Shalom!

Right before Yom Kippur, I have a great story for you. It's safe to say that this is one of my best.

One day, you are walking down the street. You see an old woman, hunchbacked, limping very slowly, putting half her weight on her cane. She calls you over. "Honey, would you please help me cross the street?" Naturally, being the angel that you are, you decide to do so. "Of course!" And so you put your arm under hers and proceed toward your destination - the other side of the street. It is taking a while, and you are growing impatient. When you reach halfway through, you realize that this is taking way too much time. So you decide to forget her. You let go of her and tell her you have to go. But then, you decide to have some fun. You take her cane from her, thinking to yourself, "Let's see her cross the street now." But that wouldn't be enough for you. You decide to trip her with her own cane, pushing her to the ground. Your giggle turns into a laugh that turns into an uncontrollable hysteria that has you jumping for oxygen. Funny, right? You'll probably never see this woman again in your life. Nothing to worry about. That's the end of it.

After some time, your guilt got the better of you, and you felt really bad about this terrible action. This regret leads you to do teshuva.

Many, many years later, your time has come. You go up to shamayim. Hashem sits you down on a recliner and says, "Sit back and relax. I want to show you a movie. The movie is called, 'Your Life,' with your thoughts in subtitles. And I'm going to invite some people to come watch it, too. I'm actually going to invite everyone you know. Your parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, even Moshe Rabbeinu!" (Our Rabbis tell us that this actually happens.)

And so the movie starts with you crying as a newborn baby. You look around and everyone is smiling. And the movie shows everything you have ever done, with the thoughts that you were thinking at that time. And some events were embarrassing, but not so bad. Until it comes to the point when this old woman walks over to you, and you're thinking, "NOOOOO!!!!!!" And she asks you to help her cross the street, and the panic kicks in. And you start crossing with her, and you want to get up and leave the room. And then, at last, you reach the halfway mark. What to do? You cringe and wait for it, imagining that everyone around you will say, "What's wrong with you, you freak?"

But for some reason, you don't leave the old woman in this movie. You never take her cane. And you never trip her. Rather, you cross the street with her, and ask her if you can help her in buying her groceries. You actually buy her groceries for her, and then hail a cab, pay that cab driver in advance for a safe trip to the old woman's apartment and send her on her way.

"What happened? Why did my sin just turn into a tremendously good deed??? That makes no sense! THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!!!"

If you really think about it, teshuva is completely irrational. If you sin, why should G-d forget about this sin? How could G-d forget about this sin? That's not what happened! How can our Sages tell us that if you do teshuva out of love for Hashem, your sins will turn into good deeds? How does that make sense?

The answer is, it doesn't. It doesn't make sense. But here's what you have to know: It doesn't have to make sense. Hashem has given you a gift, an opportunity, an irrational present. Do you realize how foolish it is not to repent? You have just been given the "get out of jail free" card, but you like staying in jail. You enjoy jail. You think that jail is better than freedom. You rip up the "get out of jail free" card and spit in Hashem's face for giving it to you. Do you realize how foolish this is? You have been given a chance that you don't deserve. You have been given a second chance that makes no sense. Should such a person need encouragement to take advantage? Should he need to be inspired to capitalize? Of course not! If he's not a fool, he'll repent in a second.

I will be thinking about this.

If this applies to you, I suggest you think about it, as well. Don't be foolish.

Tizku leShanim Rabot, Ne'imot veTovot.

May we all be inscribed in the Book of Life.

May you have a meaningful fast.

And make sure to forgive everyone for anything anyone has ever done to you, because if you are quick to forgive, then Hashem will be the same.

Shabbat Shalom!

Avraham Adam Sabzevari

Laborious Thinking

Shalom Lekulchem!

I am sitting here, on the last day of the year, thinking of something to write. I've got nothing. Writer's block. Thinking about this makes me think, "Gosh, if it's the end of the year, and I have nothing to say, something must be wrong." And I guess something is wrong. Normally, what I do is I open a chumash, look over the parasha, and see if I have something nice to write about. If that fails, I will start looking up different sefarim. And, B"H, there is no shortage of Torah (quite the opposite, actually), so I always find something. So why can't I find something this week? Because there is no Parashat Hashavua.

You might be thinking, "Where is he going with this?" So am I.

Allow me to share with you an epiphany that I have just undergone.

This thought of, I have nothing to write about, makes me thing, "Why not? You learn a good amount, right? Why don't you have something to write?"

At the end of the day, you have to have something that will show that you've gained, that you have grown, that you possess something more than the average person, or than your average-self. You have to have something concrete, something that you can point to and say, "LOOK! Look what I can do! Look what I've accomplished."

It's never too late. The best thing would be to be able to pick something up and say, "Look what I've accomplished." It can be a sefer. Pick up the sefer and say to yourself that you've gone through this. It can be a picture of a family that you helped out through tough times. It can be an email that you decided that you will send out to spread Torah learning (good idea, no? you should try it). But you should have something for yourself. Can you go into the Day of Judgement and have nothing big to plead your case? Is it possible to stand in front of your Creator for inspection, for Him to determine if you should be granted yet another year, and you have nothing to say for yourself? It's a scary thought. It scares me a little. But a little fear may be the spark that starts the flame. We all should have that one thing - at least one thing - that we can call our own. Some mitzvah that we adore and would walk a thousand miles to fulfill. (My thoughts my be drifting from where I started off, but remember, I'm thinking of this as I go.) Example: Birkat Halevana. Every month, as the moon is waxing (becoming full), we go out and make a beracha to Hashem for the moon, one of the many gifts He bestows upon us. A person can say, "This will be my mitzvah. This is what I'll have to take with me at the end of year. If it means that I will have to rent out a helicopter to go above the clouds because I'm gonna miss it otherwise, so be it. Maybe I'll even buy the helicopter. But at the end of the day, I'll be able to say, 'This mitzvah is mine.'" It can be simply saying good morning. "I will never - ever - ignore a person I see between the hours of 6 AM and 12 noon. I will make sure to wish him a good morning. And if I don't know him, maybe I'll get to know him because of this. But I will say good morning to everyone."

What's my point? It's very easy to let things fly. It's very easy to be taken, to go with the flow. And we really should be in charge of our entire lives. But that's easier said than done. So let's start with one project. Just one. Right now, I am asking you - yes, you - to do the following: think. Think of one thing that you've been wanting to improve. Maybe it's praying out of a siddur as opposed to by heart, because we all know that we skip words when we do that. Maybe it's praying with a minyan, three times a day. You will pay 9 guys if you have to get a minyan. Maybe it means you will finish a certain sefer by such-and-such date. Maybe it's to stop using unclean language. Maybe it's to stop wasting your time doing _________ (fill in the blank).

I'm asking you to make now the time that you start to perfect that one thing. Anything. But aim for perfection, and be satisfied with nothing less.

"Look what you did." This feeling is the fuel that gets you going. Accomplishment is happiness. Knowing that you make a difference is the best feeling in the world. So please, don't just leave right now. It's the day before the Day of Judgement. Think. Think of something that you will do, write it down, and get to work. If you want more ideas, email me and I'll be glad to make a list together with you.

Be'ezrat Hashem, if Hashem sees that we take Him seriously, and we decide to make changes for Him, He will change everything in our favors on this Day of Judgement.

Tizku leshanim rabot, ne'imot vetovot!

Thank you very much for an amazing year!

And please forgive me if I have offended anyone in anyway. [We all know that I've only made you laugh. But maybe the incessant laughing hurt you. How would I know?] But please to forgive me, and I forgive everyone.

Shana Tova,

Shabbat Shalom,

Avraham Adam Sabzevari

Shuttle Destination: Heaven

Helllllooooo!

Wow. It's been a while. I haven't written a d'var Torah during these last two weeks. I've been very busy with starting YU and adjusting. But B"H, I will not allow a third week to go by without boring you with my long autobiography. That would be irresponsible of me.

So I started YU, and it is difficult. Trying to become a talmid chacham couple with a full semester of college classes is easier said than done. But I will not complain. I know I'll get used to it. It is very nice to be in a place where there are, on average, 74 minyanim for mincha, and something like 29 roshei yeshiva.

Tonight, we had a very important Rav come speak in YU. Rav Itamar Schwartz, the author of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh and Da Et Atzmecha, spoke and really got us in the mood of Rosh Hashana. Think about how serious these days are, as the entire world weighs on the balance, and every action may tip the scale to either of the two sides (Rambam).

In honor of the end of the year, I will give a d'var Torah that stresses the importance of the Torah. May we all end off this year and begin next year with a great level of appreciation of the Torah.

For this commandment that I command you this day, is not concealed from you, nor is it far away. It is not in heaven, that you should say, "Who will go up to heaven for us and take it for us, to tell it to us, so that we can fulfill it?"… Rather, this thing is very close to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can fulfill it. (Devarim, 30:11-14)

"This commandment" is very close to us. Which commandment, you may ask? Well, I may respond, there is a dispute. One opinion says it refers to teshuva, and a second says it refers to the Torah (as a whole). We will be discussing the latter opinon.

Moshe Rabbeinu is speaking about the Torah and tells us that it's not in some remote location. It's not across the sea, and it's not in the heavens. Rather, it's very close to us. It's in our mouths and hearts. Let's think about what our leader is telling us. He's basically entertaining some possible excuses for us, and then rejects them. "I can't learn Torah because it is way above me...I'm incapable" - "It's not in the heavens...it's actually in your heart. Sorry." "Um....I can't learn Torah because that means I have to take transportation to somewhere, and it's too hard..." "Actually, it's not on the other side of the sea...It's on your side...it's actually in your mouth." If you look around, there is so much Torah everywhere. There are so many cheap books, there are so many shiurim, there are billions of websites that spread Torah. It is soooo easy to learn Torah. There can be Torah available to you in the palm of your hand with all the gadgets that technology provides for us. You can call up numbers and listen to a short halacha. There are softwares that have more texts than anyone from the last century would ever even dream of having.

The list of excuses can go on and on, but Moshe is a busy man. He figures you'll get the point. The point is, we can justify whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want. We can always come up with an excuse. But we have to realize that that's all they are - excuses. It all boils down to one thing - you are fooling yourself. Hashem is not being fooled. You can bet on that. I'l guarantee it. If after 120, you realize that you actually fooled Hashem, I will apologize to you. But I don't like apologizing, so I wouldn't say that unless I was 1000% sure that you can't fool G-d. So who are you fooling? There is so much Torah at your disposal. Open your eyes. OK. That's enough from the mussar department. I'll give it over to the vort department.

Let's play a logic game.

Steven is renting a room from Larry, the Landlord. Larry gives Steve a list of rules. Part of the rules is that he has to clean up the room once a week. Larry tells Steve, "But you don't have to go far to get a broom because I put one in the closet - so you don't have to ask yourself, 'Oh no! Who's gonna go buy me a broom now?' You don't have to go far to get soap because I put some under the sink - - so you don't have to ask yourself, 'Oh no! Who's gonna go buy me soap now?'"

So here's the question that I have for you. Let's say the landlord didn't provide soap. Would Steve have to pay? Let's say he wasn't kind enough to provide the broom. Would that mean that the rules change? OF COURSE NOT! That was an act of kindness, a favor. He didn't have to provide the broom and soap. He could have said these are the rules - follow them, or leave and don't let the door hit you on your way out. And if he would do that, Steve would have to go buy the broom and soap.

Same with us. (Rashi) When Moshe tells us that the Torah isn't far away, that it's not across the sea, that it's not in heaven, what is he really telling us? He isspelling out the limits we would have to reach for the Torah had it not been provided for us. If the Torah was in heaven, we would have to elect a worthy candidate who would ascend and retrieve the Torah for us. That would be our obligation as Jews. We must learn Torah. And if we don't have it, we must obtain it. This is what Moshe Rabbeinu is teaching us indirectly. The Torah is not is the heavens. It's very close to you. But, if it were in the heavens, you would have to go up and get it. So take advantage now tha tyou have it.

So this is it. The last week of 5769 is staring us in the eye. It's here. It's our last chance to make a change. It's our last chance to realize and truly acquire Torah that it not be far from us, but be right in our mouths and in our hearts. Do not let this opportunity to go.

Shabbat Shalom!

Have a great end-of-year!

And I ask for forgiveness if I have ever offended or wronged anyone, whether through the emails or another way.

Adam Sabzevari