Thursday, September 2, 2010

Where Do I Begin?

Shalom to all!

Yeshiva University is now underway (this is my second week), and the workload is starting to pile up. Last week, I didn't write a D'var Torah, and I have received a few comments about slacking off - "You've been at YU for two days, and you stop writing Divre Torah?" The truth is, I appreciate those comments because I know they're coming out of love. I mean you have to realize that I'm even sending something to realize when I am NOT sending something, right? [Though I can't hear you, I assume you agree.] Plus, they pushed me to write one this week.

So next week is Judgment Day. It's the day we've all been waiting for and the day we've all been trying to avoid. No one really wants to be judged. I don't want my every action to be scrutinized. But who doesn't love Rosh Hashana? Be'ezrat Hashem, I hope that this year, Hashem will bless us all with health, happiness, and success in everything that we do (unless it's something bad - then I hope that we stop and have no success in it.... unless you consider stopping the bad habits as true "success" as well.... think about it).

Before I write the D'var Torah, I would like to share a nice yet morbid thought that Rav Eliyahu Ben Haiim shared with his shiur at YU this week. He said - people are crazy. When the NY Lotto has a mega million total of $250 million, you will see people standing in the longest lines to buy tickets. As you are on line, you already start thinking about how to spend the money you will win - where should I go on vacation to? Which car should I buy? etc. But what are the chances that you'll actually win? Something like 1 in 1 trillion (I don't know the exact number, but it's a slim chance). But you'll still buy the ticket, and you'll still believe that you'll win. After all, "Hey, you never know." (Where's that from?) But, Rav Ben Haiim said, there are many things that the chances of getting are a lot greater than the chances of winning the lottery. The chances of getting in a car accident are very high, as they happen every single day to many people. The chances of getting sick are very high (may none of us ever know of sickness), as we see it happen with our own friends and family. Lehavdil, and Hashem shuld protect us from sickness, but there are many people who unfortunately don't make it to their next Rosh Hashana - many more people than the amount that win the lottery. When it comes to lottery, you believe that you can be you. But with other things, you don't have any doubt that IT CAN'T BE you. Rav Ben Haiim went on to explain that it's a good thing to think positively, and that it is very detrimental to be scared and be pessimistic about your own life. But at least, you should realize that you aren't invincble. At least, as we approach the Day of Judgment, we should realize that we will really be judged, and there are no guarantees. Like I said, it's nice and morbid. But we need to be prepared before Rosh Hashana - the day on which we will be judged for every single one of our actions.

In the first of this week's double parshiyot, Parashat Nitzavim, there is a famous verse - "The hidden are for Hashem, our G-d, but therevealed are for us and our children forever, to carry out all the words of this Torah" (Devarim 29:28). 
In this verse, we learn that some things are hidden, and we leave them for Hashem to deal with; however, there are some things that are revealed to us, and we must deal with them ourselves. What exactly are these things that the Torah refers to? What is hidden and what is revealed?
The Ramban offers two suggestions: (1) If you read the verses prior to this verse, you will see that Moshe tells the Jews not to serve idols. So the Ramban explain, there will be Jews who serve idol-worship and will veer away from G-d. If no one knows about it, then it's not our responsibility as Jews to do anything - "The hidden are for Hashem, our G-d." However, if we know about someone who turns away from Judaism, and we can do something about it, then we must - "but the revealed are for us and our children forever, to carry out all the words of this Torah." If we can stop someone from sinning with idolatry, then it is our responsibility to do so. [The Ramban is also referring to something specific that we must do. If you're interested, take a look.]
(2) The second explanation is something that, I believe, couldn't come at a better time. Before Rosh Hashana, everyone wants to get better. Everyone wants to guarantee himself life. No one wants to be a bad person. We all want to do teshuva. For me, however, it is very difficult to do teshuva. Where should I begin from? There are so many things that I do that are incorrect. Which one should I work on? Is it even possible for me to fix everything? There are so many things that I do that I don't even know that they are wrong. It's not like I can simply print out a list of things that I must fix. How am I supposed to know what is wrong, what needs to be worked on, etc.?
Very simply, the answer is, think. Just think about what you do, and chances are you'll figure out what's right and wrong. But that doesn't always work. For that, we can learn this Ramban. A person commits many sins - many of which he does subconsciously and doesn't even realize. "The hidden are for Hashem, our G-d." If you do things that are hidden from you, then there's nothing you can do about it. It's up to Hashem to deal with it however He decides. That's not your business. "But the revealed are for us and our children forever, to carry out all the words of this Torah." There are many things that are clear-as-day to us that we need to change. They are completely revealed. Those are the things that we are held responsible for. You don't have to worry if you were eating a dish of pasta and a spider creeped into it without you noticing, and then you ate a surprise for summer. Those are things that you don't even know about. And there are things that you did that you simply forgot. Well, those are things that you simply cannot do anything about. But you can do something about the sins you are aware of.
So basically, in this last D'var Torah before Rosh Hashana, I would like to challenge you to make one (some) New Year Resolution(s). Pick one thing that is obvious to you - revealed. Make it your responsibility to change that habit of yours. Accept upon yourself to change that act. With accepting things upon ourselves, hopefully, we'll merit to be able to fix even more things next year at this time.

I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize to you, if there is anything that I have done that requires your forgiveness. I have already forgiven everyone, even though that isn't necessary for you.

Shabbat Shalom!
Shana Tova! Tizku leshanim rabot, tovot ve'ne'imot.
Sincerely yours,
Avraham Adam Sabzevari

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